Cave Creek, Arizona — Today, Prophet Gary Roverino, the charismatic leader behind the Above God’s Name YouTube channel and co-founder of the KJV Museum, has released exciting news about a new edition of the original KJV 1611 printing. This new edition will be unlike the previous thirty special editions he has produced over the last two years. Prophet Roverino predicts this upcoming edition is sure to astound his followers and silence his skeptics once and for all!
Each edition of the 1611 produced by prophet Roverino has been intended to highlight the supernatural patterns and miraculous coincidences it contains. What sets the new edition apart? It includes literal highlights! Prophet Roverino has received special insight from God to circle every letter of his own name in red when it is found in the KJV text and the results are mind-blowing!
Prophet Roverino’s GRoundbreaking discovery that his initials “GR” are the first two letters in “GReat” and “GReat” is the first word in the 1611’s dedication to King James is how God revealed to him that he is a prophet sent to demonstrate the infallibility of the 1611 KJV to the world in the last days with signs and wonders. Ever since, Prophet Roverino has been praying that God would reveal his prophethood in an even more striking way. Not only has God answered his prayer, but he has revealed a GRand network of miracles that spans the entire Bible and it literally spells out “GARY ROVERINO”!
“You common Christian people may be wondering why the world needs yet another reprint of the 1611,” said Prophet Roverino in a recent interview with the Bible of the Week Society. “The answer is simple. The riches God has concealed from Christians in the inspired 1611 printing are so vast we could publish a new edition of the 1611 every day—which is one of our goals—and still never run out of miracles. Besides, there is no copyright on the 1611 KJV and we need you suckers to keep giving us money! …Did I say that outloud?”
One of the striking miracles you’ll notice is that these nine letters occur on almost EVERY PAGE of the 1611 KJV! This isn’t the case in any of the modern perversions like the NIV, NKJV, or ESV or any other book on Earth! Amazing! Even the words “EVERY PAGE” is made of nine letters! Another miracle that will blow your mind is that “G”, “A”, “R”, and “Y” are the first letter of words in the same verse in 53 books of the 1611 Bible and in EXACTLY 473 verses! Another miracle that is removed from every modern translation. What’s the big deal about 473, you may ask? Do the math!
Equation 1: 5+3=8 (8 is half of 16, and 16 HALF of 1611! There are also 16 letters in “Prophet Roverino” if you count the space! Wow!)
Equation 2: 4+7=11 (There are four R’s in “Prophet Gary Roverino”, four letters in “Gary” and “math”, and “G” is the seventh letter of the alphabet and seven letters in “Prophet”!)
Result: 16+11=1611! The exact year the KJV’s inspired edition was published!
What about the “3” in 473? Clearly this refers to the 1611 with Old and New Testaments and the Apocrypha which “Prophet Gary Roverino”—three words—has been defending as inspired for exactly three years! These three parts are meant to be read, read, READ, the three R’s in “Gary Roverino”! Prophet Roverino explained, “The revelation of these miracles are guaranteed by God to bear fruit because, as you can see, there are nine different letters in my name just like there are nine fruits of the Spirit! The miracles are undeniable but they are hidden from those who do not wish to see!”
You might be wondering, “Why doesn’t “GR” stand for Gail Riplinger, another leading voice in KJV-only circles who has rejected Prophet Roverino as a false prophet?” Or it may have crossed your mind to ask, “Has Prophet Roverino tried this with any other names which aren’t significant to him to test his process of deducing miracles?” After careful consideration and prayer, God supplied Prophet Roverino with this majestic answer: “Hey, shut up! What do you know about miracles? What do you even know about math!”
Prophet Roverino has guaranteed that the first ten to purchase this new edition will receive a custom edition with the letters of their names circled in red so they too may behold the miracles God has planned for them. These customers will be charged $16.11 an hour for the many weeks it takes Prophet Roverino’s secretary to circle them all, with an additional surcharge in case she has to go to the hospital for hand surgery—plus shipping and handling. If you order a case, you will receive an autoGRaphed 16×11 photo of Prophet Roverino himself! Order yours today!
We hope you enjoied our first-ever satirical article! 🙃😆
Bible Version Conspiracy 